We have made several portraits of our fellow SHOUT-members for bi-visibility day. With this we want to make bisexuality more visible and we hope that everyone gets a better understanding about what ‘being bi’ really means. In this portrait Sophie is talking about what bisexuality means to her and how she found she was bi.
Can you introduce yourself?
Hey! My name is Sophie and I’m 23 years old. I’m currently doing the masters Biotechnology and Communication. You would probably see me read fantasy books, writing poems, draw comics or do some inline skating in my spare time. It’s a bit complicated to explain where I actually came from, I was born in Voorschoten (small village near Leiden), but for my father’s work we lived about 10 years in several countries in Asia. It is not a very good idea to let me go shopping in the bookshop with a full wallet. I could easily spend hours browsing books and I will probably buy some even if have 20 unread books at home.
What was the reason to participate for this portrait?
I wanted to participate because it took me a long time before I “dare” to say that I was bi. I think that reading stories of other people where I could recognize myself really helped in that process.
How do you see your bisexuality, is it: I only like men women or has it more nuance?
To me, being bi means that you like people the way they are, if it are women, non-binary – , trans-persons or men are. I know that this description is rather similar with being pansexual and seeing the difference between them is still a bit difficult for me. I have also that the special features that makes someone the way they are attractive, so I like the female aspects of a women and the masculine aspects of men.
Can you describe your exploration of your sexuality?
I had a hetero relationship for about 5 years when I got some doubts because I dreamt about kissing women. When I walked down the street, I realised that I liked to look more at women than at men and I loved to fantasize about women. After my relationship ended I decide to be more open about my ‘other side’. Back then I found it really difficult to say that I was bi because I didn’t have any experiences with falling in love with women or even kissing them. I was even afraid it was a sort of ‘doing a bit interesting’ which wasn’t really based on anything. On one moment I started to like a girl friend of mine and when she (unintentionally) boke my heart, I thought: ‘this really hurts but I think I’m really bi now.’
What are the positive aspects of being bi?
You could appreciate everyone when walk down the streets and that is in a way really liberating. I don’t discriminate, all booties are nice and attractive!
Are there also negative sides?
Luckliy I haven’t experience negative experiences by myself. However, you hear enough stories about bi-people which are excludes both hetero-people as well as LGBTI+-people, and subsequently doesn’t feel at home at both communities. This was one reason why it took me so long to really claim the bi-label for myself, because what if people see me as a hetero-girl that has a bi-curious phase just to be interesting or to make some fuzz. In that case people could be more open to let people be what they want, luckily a lot of progress is made here the last few years. Therefore I still have some hope that it will be even better in the future!
Do you have any dreams or plans for the future?
I love to go on more dates! I really look forward to meet new people now and have new experiences.